all hail the mystical codestone finder

OMG A RED POOGLE

omgomgomgomgomgomg what to do sia.. *gulp*
Yj. says: 'WASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSUPPPPP'





kk that was stupid.


eh btw u all ah.. I juz explaining that sum part of my brain kenna affect by sum tumor den u all say I horny. Come onnnnnnnn -.-


sigh.. such frens.


btw why couldn't I have gotten a codestone instead. Dumb poogle -.-


oh and any1 read this blog b4? http://www.the-kai-blog.blogspot.com/

wondering wassup back at school

(at title) ok im not really wondering lol.. since i noe their exams are over/going to end. This time is the best one right? The end of one year; true holidays with no homework. I dunno if poly end of year got any homework lah.. but im gonna assume there isnt =/, so that I can pity myself even more.. f3. nah juz kidding.


from wx and alwyn - seems like the class is talking about chalet lol.


eh actually hor.. I tink back about school.. I thought about sum girls sia lol. 1 same course, 1 same psychology lecture, 1 dunno from where.. onli see in canteen. I tink I am the onli person who find them cute hahahha. Why I write this here because I find it very funny.. dunno how many months den I suddenly tink about girls. Also.. now I look into mirror.. I wonder why I even think about girls hahaha.


*really does think a little*


eh wait.. I tink I noe why I suddenly think of girls hahahhaha!! sumting to do wif my brain tumors, the smaller ones! If I remember correctly hor.. the sexual tingy located at that part.. then the smaller tumors affected it. Not sure though, haha.


Then now my tumors say bye bye liao (I tink).. I start to tink of girls lah! haha.. so this is just a natural guy's reaction.


btw, please do not start tinking that I need stuff like Maxim. The Internet has it free.


JUST KIDDING!


I could use a few friendster profiles though..


JUST KIDDING LAH DO I LOOK SO HORNY?


on 2nd thought.. hmm.. friendster profile.. hmm..


oh ya.. also reminds me of how never-had-a-girlfren I am haha..


well I took like 10 months to minus off 9kg (78 to 69).. now im 74kg and im starting to eat less liao.. hope i dont get to 75 before i reeeeeeeally start eating lesser lol. Well at least this time I think it will be easier..

wowow this is sian-ness

lousy weekend.. headache here and there..

new maid come.. even though she older and more mature than the previous one, she is a lot.. slower. My mum try to teach her, teach until pek chek. lol, my mum call her, she dunno doing what 1.. have to tap her then she reply.. -.-

still got.. the agent told us that maid used to be a chef back in indonesia.. the thing is.. from the way she cut and cook.. even I can tell that the agent bullshitting us.. sigh..

4get it.. on a brighter side of things.. CoralSec got helmed =D.. good stats IMO. 15 str, 16 dex, 16 int, 14 luk. 2x card ran out already though.. initially wanted to get to 130 but now we are at 127.

and we tried some scrolling.. everything boomed.. lol.. even that 111 raven up there =/

in a bid to save my blog..

(continued from title) I post a lil to prevent sum1 from rioting this blog!



i have a sudden craving for wafers.



i am changing maids tmr. anyway im also kinda getting irritated wif this maid lah. heard the new maid used to be a chef in indonesia. but maybe juz sum assistant who cut or sumting bah.. i mean.. come on.. can be chef why wanna be maid?



i got a kind of huge fish cookbook and i wanna try cooking sumting now that my left arm is feeling better (all hail radiotherapy!).



i tink my hair is dropping again due to chemo.. haha



oh ya my bro bought sum kinda teriyaki sauce and i wanna try fry sum salmon and juz pour the sauce over for a weekday lunch.. super dam simple haha.. den maybe an egg wif those.. er.. onion? like at sakae sushi..



oh and i finally posted up an old post from 1st feb lol.. kinda "finally got down to finishing it"


um any1 got any idea on what would be nice to cook? my 2x maple cards tmr last day, then most probably buying AFTER my bro's exams, which is like 2 weeks later.. and this 2 weeks are also my resting weeks no chemo no doc appointment no nothing.. means super super free.. however.. I still cant go out alone, so.. any suggestions?

2nd chemotherapy session 2dae

eh, u noe, chemo isnt that bad.. i shall now list out the bad things im experiencing - slight constipation, tiredness on some days, slight loss of appetite, expensive med.

There.

Life is not very bad, NOT like the weekend ch8 evening show about cancer patients. Then again, the show mostly only kpkb about the price of the medicine. Why they kpkb? coz if they suay, some med dun work on them, they need more expensive med. For me, im paying like 165(i tink) per cycle (3 weeks) AFTER medisave. Initially when my parents heard that medisave(dunno who say 1) doesnt cover some stuff and that the expenses can reach up to few thousand per cycle, we were worried lah.. but 165 still ok.

Then the chinese medicine.. EACH WEEK more than $150 -.- but heng onli 2-3 weeks lah. However we stopped it this week because actually I got hospitalised on Monday again(i didnt tell any1 so take it easy ppl), this time my fits happened on both hands.. then doc suggested that we stop the medicine. Previously we went to another one each week 70+.. my father say chinese medicine is considered expensive because government nv subsidise 1, den insurance oso nv cover 1.

eh btw dun take it that im typing this here because i want ppl donate $$$. Re-reading, I was typing about why the show ppl kpkb about the price of medicine. So there u have it. Price expensive =/.

oh there is one thing.. I might be a very lucky guy.. the staff nurse say some people wont experience nausea one.. waha, so far i haven experience any nausea.

in reply to tagboard!

20 Feb 08, 01:42ernEst: knock knock. - why, hello there


18 Feb 08, 19:30Death: Lol.. stil maple.. go gym exercise boy... LOL..: - trust me man.. u haf no idea how much i wan to go back to life before now lol.. all the gym and stuff.. but over the time.. i lost muscles and gained fats =(.. gained 5kg of pure fats man.. and im still not allowed to go out alone =/


18 Feb 08, 14:13Jeremy: eh yj,dont play maple already lah.go rest!let your bro chiong - lol i still got energy lah.. i chiong 10-2, he chiong 2-6.


17 Feb 08, 23:38ernEst: ur bro gonna be the highest level in coral sec if he everyday no lifing - eh, we dun even noe who the highest in coral so far.. at the point of writing this i onli noe eliza is lv130 and we are lv126.. im dam sure got higher lv 1 though.

these few days

wow, 6 days nv update leh.. nth much happen these few days.. maple lv125 and chemo first session.

ah, maple lv125..
(not in order of pumping)
- sharp eyes lv10
- pierce lv1
- freezer lv1
- snipe lv1
- dragon pulse lv1
- mastery lv4

next up - mastery lv6, pierce lv2

den pierce lv30.. =/


chemotherapy first session -

day itself - nv feel anyting leh
2nd day - juz stomach abit weird
3rd day (today) - whole day like v tired + pang sai 3 times lmao.. though i felt constipated the whole day =/ constipated still pang sai 3 times.. power hor.. den mouth oso dry dry.

i tink tmr can chiong maple better, the nurse say usually first 2-3 days more cham.. 2dae mainly my bro chiong.. i slack ><

i tink i stop here for 2dae..

lv120 =D

so long never post lol..

well.. lv120, pumped lv2 sharp eyes and 1 dragon pulse. not used to dragon pulse yet haha. spammed quite a lot and lv2 sharp eyes too short! keep recasting very ma fan haha.

tmr 121 (another 2 sharp eyes and 1 freezer) then go see chinese doctor during evening. wonder what's for dinner..

wat sia sial siah siol sioh seh seoh seol

THIS IS NOT A FOOD BLOG.

what food blog.. eh btw the cockroach i never play with it lah kao. where got ppl want play with dead cockroach. i told her to throw it away lah.

ok lets blog about maple. today i tink many ppl ponteng school. suddenly a lot of little kids online -.-

CANNOT TRAIN PROPERLY. pek chek. the map i train in hor.. usually morning very peaceful. people come in will check for people before attacking. but today.. a lot of people just come in self-service. wah kao. all no manners one. weekends and school holidays always liddat, now weekday oso lidat. AQUILA SUXXORXOROXOROR.

anyway me and my bro still managed to lv to 116, 60+%. tmr 117, 50% .

ah.. if nothing goes wrong lol.

and im not totally bald lmao.

-Yj versus Maid-

-Yj versus Maid-

Today while preparing dinner.. soup was the remainder of yesterday's steamboat ingredients all into one pot. I was watching my maid put the stuff in until we reached the ingredient above. There was a confusion. What is it ar.. is it the 1) Fish.. er.. dumpling? or 2) Pork.. er.. dumpling?

Actually is not really a confusion lah. But my maid keep saying is fish fish fish then I keep saying is pork. Why maid keep saying is fish?? Because my mum let her eat the fish one mah.. she didn't know got pork one, so she don't know lol. Then we came to a conclusion: "ok nevermind. We wait tonight ask m'am."

=DD

So we asked my mum. I win lah! It is pork.. coz I was the one who bought it LOL. Then yesterday my mum already asked me to clear the fish one LOL. Why am I so pro?

Yj-1 Maid-0

The Soup.

All stocked up for Chinese New Year and steamboat dinner!

Lol my mum told me dunno what fish. End up is salmon. yummy.

Total ingredients (or what I remember) -

Pork slices

Salmon slices

Beef slices (sukiyaki style lol)

Fish.. er.. dumpling?

Pork.. er.. dumpling?

Tofu, 2 types

Mixed yong tau foo stuff

Mushroom chicken ball

Pork ball

Kang Kong

That other big leafy veggy.. what's that called?

Pig liver.. my mum and dad eat only like 1-2 piece -.- mum say $1 only.. just buy lah slowly eat. Pig liver so.. disgusting, want to eat how long. Some more so many lol.

That roast duck was for afternoon.. but only eat half.

And I think we are pretty stocked up for Chinese New Year.. my mum and dad went out three times today to buy quite a few things.

Dinner at Loyang Point =D

Today dinner was at Loyang Point. Why? Coz I wanted to eat Bak Kut Teh and Loyang Point was like the nearest and I didn't want to keep eating dinner at home.

So my family went there. We order 2 set.. $15 and $16 set. 6 dishes. Gong bao frog legs; herbal soup frog legs; sliced fish; bak kut teh; kai lan; fried egg and 6 bowls of rice. Maid had fried rice from another stall coz we weren't eating halal stuff.

Food quite ok ok. The bak kut teh a bit bland though. The best sauce was from the gong bao frog legs. The rest still normal.

Eat finish went to walk around. Went to Seng Siong shop for steamboat stuff. My mum decided to bring forward the steamboat to tmr coz we can't get fresh ingredients if we were to eat on chinese new year itself. End up also never buy much. Seng Siong famous for being not-so-clean lah, so want buy fresh-looking food there a bit hard. Just bought stuff like green tea, biscuit and milk. People buy from Seng Siong only because they hope the Seng Siong show will pick until them. The thing is.. it's as good as striking 4d/toto. DON'T YOU THINK SO?

So we went over to shop 'n 'save. Wah go in there is like so much different. Can feel a lot more "fresher". We go look at the sukiyaki (steamboat leh.. muz haf what). Wah seh.. want Seng Siong to have such sukiyaki is like.. LOL. Bought beef sukiyaki coz pork sukiyaki the thawing date was 3 days ago.. means could'nt last till tmr as stated on the packet (see they are so considerate). Then we look at the packed fishballs and stuff. Just now at Seng Siong we saw some of the same stuff.. but we didn't dare to buy coz it looked a bit dirty. But here hor.. wah seh.. clean clean one.. ok take take take.

I think of all this, I also think.. NTUC, Cold Storage , Giant, Shop 'n 'save all this.. they get their stock first, then Seng Siong get all that is left LOL. All those that others dowan, Seng Siong take and sell. Some more some they go sell more expensive.

lol.. anyway, lv112 in maple. 113 tmr. Yj+Yp!

Lots of thoughts today..

Well, I believe those who come to this blog probably already know I have cancer and my life is currently at some kind of pause.





Today, even though I had two appointments, one with western doc in the morning and one with chinese med doc at night, I had time to think about some stuff.





I thought about quite a lot of random stuff. I compared myself to when I first found out about my brain tumors, to when I settled down, to when doctor told me that the brain tumors were actually caused by lung cancer.





I also thought about life before and after I got hospitalised, when life came to a certain pause, about the people in my life.





Then, I thought about life after I got out of hospital to rest at home and also way back into 2007.





Well, I might as well just blog it all down tonight.





It all started with my left hand feeling weak btw.





1) When I first found out about my brain tumors - I entered Changi General Hospital on 2nd Nov due to my first major seizure. I stay there dunno how many days lah.. I think the Linkin Park concert was on the.. 7th isit? Ok.. I was hoping I would make it out by then, but I missed it because I was still feeling kinda sick and I still had some tests to go through. Then dunno when.. they say I can go home liao, but suddenly they say something showed up in the MRI scan (or isit the CAT or CT scan). So I had to go through another test at the neurology centre to check out my brain waves over at Tan Tock Seng Hospital (TTSH from now on). My brain waves were normal. Then, Changi told my family something like "Changi was not 'well-equipped' enough" to give a proper diagnosis, so they just transferred me over to Tan Tock Seng (then earlier they send me for the test for wat -.-) because TTSH was more advanced in the brain section.





So my "adventure" in TTSH began. I arrived there somewhere around tea-break time I think. The doctor there got all my MRI scan stuff already. He put them on the lighting board then looked at them. Me and my father there only, my mum was outside doing the check-in stuff. That time not enough beds in the neurology wards so I was placed in the waiting area.. I on the moveable bed, my father standing beside, my mum waiting outside. Only one person was allowed with me. That time we didn't know anything lah, we weren't expecting anything, just thought the doctor will know wtf is wrong with me.





Then, the doctor told my father to go out with him. He needed someone to settle the check-in stuff. My father went with him. -lol, remember I typed earlier my mum was doing the check-in stuff?-


So I felt weird lah. I lie there awhile.. think think.. eh, why the doctor see my MRI scan never say anything then ask my father go check-in. I sat up to try and look outside. You know what? I see the doctor talking to my father and pointing to the scan pictures from where he was. At this time.. I was like.. "???". Seriously. Question mark.





They saw me. I gave the o.O look and laid back on the bed. Of cause they know I know something wrong liao. A while later.. my father came in alone. He decided to tell me lah. Cause he felt it would be unfair if I didn't know. It got rather emotional. This is the #@#$ up time.. dont really know how to say also. My father hear the news already dam sad, and he had to break it to me. Gah, I dont blog about this, I start to think about it very.. gah.





Ok.. so that time we didn't know how to deal with it. I was messed up too. Brain tumor. WTF? I had no knowledge of this at all, except I see on TV.. it isn't good news, and death/pain/suffering is usually associated with it. Wah lau eh.. I only 17+ leh.. my 17th birthday less than one month ago (at that time). Now I got brain tumor?





Then, there was my mother too. Me and my father tried to calm ourselves down. We needed to decide how to tell my mum. I think we took quite some time to settle down. Cause is like.. think about it will sad.. then not sad.. then sad again. Aiya hard to explain. Then my father straightened up. He just went out. I laid there lah.. trying not to think about stuff. Awhile later.. my mum came in.. at first she was still ok ok.. but can see she was starting to be sad liao. I don't know how my father broke it to her, but I can see she was trying to hold back lah. Ah, another part I don't really want to blog about lol. All the crying part.. yea all of us did cry.





OK so I was diagnosed with brain tumor at that time and I think the doctor quite good lah, left us alone to settle down first then later come in then try to assure my father that TTSH doctors will do their best to treat me and stuff.





I managed to get a bed in the wards later. That night was a bit.. messed up lah. For a 17 yr old kid who just found out he had brain tumor lying alone there on the hospital bed (my parents left quite late that night, they wanted to keep me company longer) at 11+. Everyone else sleeping then I kinda alone there in a c+ ward.. was quite quiet cause the section was at the corner de.. then quite dark also, never get much light from the counter. So my thoughts kinda ran wild. Like.. what if I really did die; the regrets I have; the really really stupid mistakes I made; the kind of person I am; the misunderstandings that I didn't clarify; the things I haven't done and many other things. Man, I think that was the only time I had so many many things running through my head. I guess when you think you really are dying and you have time to think, you WILL see your life flashing past you. Except mine wasn't really flashing.





That was a super-emo day for me and my family (man, trust me, the time when I was waiting for a place in the wards was seriously bad). Don't know how my bro reacted when he first heard about it though lol.





2) When I started to get settled down - I was still pretty emo the next few days. I slowly informed a few people of my situation. At first got a few people I also wanted to tell, but I forgot =/. Ah, because I still super noob at brain tumor thing, thought I really will die just like that, then nobody know lol.





I don't really remember this period now, because I was quite moodless at that time. Relatives and friends came to visit. I felt very down at that time lah. But.. thanks to everyone. Really. Thanks. Thanks a lot. Slowly I forgot about my sianness. Except that I did feel very sick for a period there, forgot why. Don't know if is medicine or the brain tumor. I think I felt this kinda sickness back when I got my first major seizure too. Super headache and vomitting. Eh, or was it after I got my biopsy.. I forgot. Gah, guess my memory of the hospital stay has been messed up by the steroids. Well, I know I spent uneventful days there.





But hey.. though the days were uneventful, I saw a lot of things man. A lot. How friends sent sms-es to encourage me, how relatives made their way down even after their day of hard work and buy some little goodies. How they cook little healthy meals for me, bring some health supplements, help me with physiotherapy after the biopsy, help me buy food, stay and accompany me, rent some cd to watch on my lappy, friends come down to visit and to talk talk. Some relatives and like all of my friends live dam far from TTSH so I think it was hard for them.





Yea, many people gave me support. This period of time really changed me. Really. I used to be very very anti-social. I can remember that. Now, there isn't really anything to be anti-social about. I have a lot a lot a lot of gratefulness to everyone. Really, everyone. It's not like whether you got come hospital see me or not then I grateful. Really, a lot of people do a lot of things for me and I don't know how to thank them. Seriously. Eh, if you think I may not be grateful to anyone, please do not think that way. I really am. Super serious.





And one super major thing. My family. I don't know if this paragraph may seem to cancel out what I feel in the above two paragraphs, but.. this feeling is.. still somewhat different. Maybe it's still the anti-social side deep inside of me? My father and mother.. my father took like weeks off from work. My father and mother were dam worried. I think my relatives could sense it very well. Once again I feel grateful to my relatives. They helped my parents a lot. I really don't know why I was rather anti-social at family gatherings in the past. Why? I don't know. My eyes really open open open. I think my brother also matured a lot. He like keep giving way, never try to give trouble to my parents. He knew my parents were tired. My father woke up early everyday to come to the hospital to stay beside me, then my mother worked and then went to pray for me or travel from her workplace down to TTSH. Both were obviously mentally stressed out.





At that point, I had already come to terms with my illness. Everyone was giving me so much support. I had everything to fight it already, just that I still dunno how to fight it. NOTHING was being done to treat me except to keep everything under control. Well, anyway, I was a changed person. Changed a lot. I guess you can say.. I wish I socialized more with the people around me, talked a lot more. I wish I had done a lot more.



3) When I found out it was actually lung cancer - This was more recent. I think around late Dec or early Jan we got the report and doctor told us about it. There is something about TTSH doctors lah.. the way they broke the news.. I didn't really get sad about it this time. Or maybe the blow from learning about my brain tumor last time made me somehow prepared for this news. The scene wasn't like TV shows where sad background music comes on and the camera gets focused on the cancer dude with the shocked face. The doctor didn't talk about what stage it was in. I think it was just the initial stages since they didn't look very grim or something. Everything then came down to what kinda medicine I would be using and then scheduling both radiotherapy and chemotherapy.




4) Life before I entered hospital - I was dam enjoying it man.. coz even though spend a lot more time in school, I felt a lot more freedom. I was also studying something that I actually liked.. plus the food at TP is got good one. Also, I find that poly class a lot closer than secondary school class one lor.. maybe coz is half the size lol(but haha most probably oso because got wx, alwyn and zc same class). Well I most probably won't be as close as I am with this ex-current-class when I go to the new poly class.




And before I entered hospital.. eating was something dam fun. I anywhere/thing oso can eat.. western ah.. fast food ah.. fried stuff ah.. meat ah.. now hor.. those things that I just stated.. western cannot eat, fast food cannot eat, fried stuff can onli eat abit, meat onli eat certain type can. Bloody huge change in dietary habits. Now I every meal have to eat two type of vege and 1 fish.. luckily my mum still let me eat the meat that I can eat, so its 2 vege, 1 fish and 1 meat.



5) Way back into 2007 - Ah, the most free time of a teenager. O lv finish, lots of free time. lol, I can rmb that time make wrong choice go city hall overnight, went esplanade with alchohol and cards, end up..*cough cough* dumb cops lmao. Man, even the "only true 24hrs LAN shop in Singapore" didn't open -.-... eh, I think there was a blackout that nite at that building isit? We ended up walking around and then settling down at macdonalds playing 3-person dai-dee throughout the nite haha.. eh sumhow I remember this event the most leh.. other than my job at noel..



ok talking about my job at noel.. u noe the beyonce song "Irreplaceable" and the.. er.. by who ar.. "this ain't a scene; it's a goddamn arms race" that one.. I hear this two song will remind me of that place sia.. those sometime-busy-like-what-sometime-slack afternoons(and free soup at one of the coffeeshop). And.. eh.. thinking back, both events I spent it wif wx and yq lmao.



Still got other things, like going out to Sentosa esposing my flabby belly, getting started on gym and stuff.. also the passing of my father's side grandmother.. caused me to take a 2-week break from noel. Also the overnight cycling at Sentosa.. can't forget that as well. Posting till here, will add on if I remember anything.