CYA~ (in a sense)

lol, i was just exempted from.. nevermind. no money now.

2nd, they said that their target age was 20+. so.. got to talk between the doctors more.

3rd, they got to look more into my case, since it is very, VERY unusual for people of my age to be so sick.

so now im back to my old med b4 any development.

oh ya, regarding my 1st point, i meant that i was exempted (as said by doctor) for NS. no money from NS pay now..

and so.. CYA GUYS. serve the nation well. lol, kinda early.

I am lucky! Or am I?

lol, went to c doc yesterday. now haf to take new med.. and this new med is very expensive. how expensive? 1 course of treatment is $6k. no idea 1 course is how long, but the mention of that amount of money is not funny.

now why am i lucky? heh heh heh.. IM GETTING THE TREATMENT FREE! a specialist doctor at the national cancer center (NCC) has gotten a grant to study the med. i fulfill most (or all) of the requirements. well the doctor at TTSH said it like i would get chosen for sure, so i have high hopes :D

and why am i unlucky? it includes chemotherapy.. gah. nevermind... I AM STRONG!

HELLO.

does anyone have any job openings for someone below 16? minimum pay of $5/hr?

dreams when i slp

omg i think i mite have a lot of pent up anger. i keep dreaming that im a very angry person banging on tables. not just once lol.

no idea why man.. i dont feel angry in the day. only when im slping. maybe the more immature side of me still cant accept life as it is eh.

moral of the story: dont piss me off or.. well, we dont know what would happen.

I can do sports!

I FEEL STRONG!

Looking at blogs and other stuff.

lol, i come online almost everyday, unless im in hospital or something. then, i visit blogs while/after/during games. i always start out with the cls blog lol. den i "branch out" into my blog and then the links in my blog. sometimes i go to the blogs of my classmates. then i c some jc students' msn nicks going like.. "OMFG ITS OVER".

man, looking at these stuff, i keep thinking about how im getting held back. its more of mixed feelings when looking at these. i gained and lost stuff. also changed a bit.

i used to like sky blue and purple. now i feel they are pretty gay and i dont really like any color. its like im stuck in black and white. im not emo, i do see colors. just that they are not that 'bright' now lol.

i dont know why i typed that lol. anyway.. not everybody updates their blog everyday. even though i know that, i still visit some blogs a few times a day lol. guess im really bored. i should try blog-hopping one day.

some things are starting to become numb. like doctors going: "omfg u got cancer?" and then "how old are you?", "u smoke?". haha. last time i would reply more. now, its more of one-liners. tired of explaining. and also, public transport. well.. gah nvm. im also getting more and more passive with stuff. i wonder if i can cope in school in my ultra-dependent state now. i still miss my dog. haha, guess it's becoz i put her as my msn display picture.

but there are some things that i am not numb to. instead, i feel dam fed-up. food vendors. got 1 dam ch**by* auntie. it was a long story lah and i lazy to type out. but she tot i fking stealing her chilli leh. first time hor, she laugh those type of cb laugh. coz my maid was beside me. 2nd time, i slow abit onli leh. i was like choosing what i want to put into my vegetarian beehoon. i was with my mum. that ch**by* auntie see me onli, call the person behind me. dam im quite petty i guess.

anyway i watched samurai 7 recently. i watch until last 2 episodes.. missing. wah, hard to find the last 2 sia. wth. but still, i found them and finished the anime. sad anime lol. <-- under "things which i do other than games".

i should start socializing a little. maybe i will begin in runescape. i mean like try to start conversations and maintain it. then maybe.. er.. smile and say "thank you" louder when people serve/clear stuff. or maybe.. instead of typing these out, i should say it out. i havent been very good in conversations. sometimes i just end up saying something stupid or hurting someone. i don't know, but the whole of my family seem to be able to socialize very well.

gah idk. now i got to try and finish a cup of black chinese medicine.